When the pediatrician places the measuring tape around her infant’s head and notes, “His head is a little small,” Joanne knows that motherhood won’t be as she had dreamt. Even as a special educator, Joanne isn’t prepared to raise a child with a life-limiting brain malformation. Nor is she ready for the compounded pain and alienation that comes when her second son is diagnosed with autism. But the struggle to balance her sons’ medical and educational challenges drives Joanne to reconnect with the lessons she learned as a modern dancer—and there she finds enlightenment.

Inspired by her experience performing José Limón’s There Is a Time, based on Ecclesiastes 3, each chapter of Fall and Recovery details a dance lesson and the dichotomy of parenting children with disabilities. Over time, Joanne discovers that surviving motherhood isn’t a matter of strength, bravery, or faith. It’s a matter of linking your past experiences and creating your own purpose. It’s realizing that we live simultaneously in love and grief. In the end, dance teaches Joanne not only how to move freely through pain but also how to fall and recover.

Jealous of her brilliant older sister, Ernestine longs for her father’s approval as a little girl but is never good enough. When she discovers a talent for the flute, she meets a charismatic teacher who gives her the encouragement she craves and becomes her surrogate father. After winning several competitions, she dreams of being a professional musician, but her stern father ridicules the idea and forces her to attend Emory University as a math major like her sister.

Ernestine doesn’t give up on her musical dreams, however, and halfway through college she wins the second flute chair in the Atlanta Symphony. There, she sits beside her former teacher, the principal flute. At first, she loves working with him, but after one successful season he turns on her and does everything in his power to get her fired. Devastated by her idol’s merciless harassment, she’s driven into a spiral of suicidal depression. As she tries to recover, her vulnerability is exploited, again and again, by the very men she turns to for help.

A harrowing account of one woman’s battle with twentieth-century misogyny, Countermelodies follows Ernestine as, through the darkness, she clings to her love for the flute and her unshakable dream of making it in the cutthroat world of classical music.