Do You Have Kids?

Weaving together stories from non-moms aged thirty-seven to ninety-one, a growing body of research, and the author’s own story, Do You Have Kids? probes the non-mom’s entire adulthood—from the morphing meaning of family to what she leaves behind when she dies.

Today about one in five American women will never have children, whether by choice or by destiny. Yet few women talk much about what not having kids means to their lives and identities. Not that they don’t want to; there just aren’t obvious catalysts for such open conversations. In fact, social taboos preclude exploration of the topic—and since our family-centric culture doesn’t know quite what to do with non-parents, there’s potential for childless and childfree women to be sidelined, ignored, or drowned out. Yet there’s widespread, pent-up demand for understanding and validating this perfectly normal way of being. In this straight-shooting, exhaustively researched book, women without kids talk candidly about the ways in which their lives deviate from societal norms and expectations” here, instead of at end of sentence—the good, the bad, and the unapparent—in which their lives deviate from societal norms and expectations.

Author: Kate Kaufmann

Publication Date: April 2, 2019

Categories: Award-Winning, Non-fiction, Spring 2019

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About the Author

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2020 International Book Awards Finalist in Self-Help: General
2019 Living Now Book Awards Silver Medal Winner in Sexuality/Femininity

“Supported by extensive factual material and fascinating personal anecdotes, this engaging work provides thorough insight into the varied and fruitful lives of non-moms.”
—Library Journal

“A wide-ranging look at life for women who never have children…perceptive and informative…Ultimately, this supportive volume serves as a plea to respect the diversity of human experience.”
—Kirkus Review

“This book is an important addition to the literature around living a full and meaningful life without children. Honest, vulnerable, insightful, and thoroughly researched, it deserves to become a staple in both social sciences departments and for private readers.”
—Jody Day, founder of Gateway Women and author of Living the Life Unexpected: 12 Weeks to Your Plan B for a Meaningful and Fulfilling Future Without Children

“This book is a treasure that details what real-life childlessness can be like. For childless and childfree women, and those still deciding their reproductive futures, Kaufmann offers the insights you’ve been looking for about the many dimensions of non-motherhood—loneliness, faith, prying questions from family and friends, and so much more.”
—Karen Malone Wright, founder, TheNotMom.com & The NotMom Summit

“This collection of interviews, personal anecdotes, and recent data demystifies the reasons people choose not to have children and acknowledges those whose childlessness results from tragedy, disappointment, or circumstance. A straightforward exploration of human concerns through a lens not everyone stops to consider and a resource for people seeking community or broadened understanding.”
—Nicole Hardy, author of Confessions of a Latter Day Virgin

“In Do You Have Kids? Kate Kaufmann turns that dreaded question into a powerful conversation with the reader. Kaufmann mixes her personal story with those of other ‘Not-Moms.’ Together with a wealth of research, these stories serve to unite an often-marginalized community as well as reminding the reader of the vital role these women hold in our society. This should be required reading for those who choose the childfree life, as well as those who need to better understand this choice. In other words, all of us.”
—Janet Buttenwieser, author of Guts: a memoir

“Want to visualize life once you know you’re not having children? Do You Have Kids? Life When the Answer is No offers facts, figures, and research findings, deftly woven in between the copious and delightfully honest interviews that Kaufmann conducted with people who don’t have children.”
—Maxine Trump, award-winning director of childfree film To Kid or Not to Kid

About the Author

Kate Kaufmann first got an inkling of how different life as a non-mom could be after she and her husband abandoned fertility treatments, quit their corporate jobs, and moved from a San Francisco suburb in an excellent school district to a rural community in Oregon to raise sheep. Everyone in the country seemed to have kids. So began her quest for defining her identity as a childless woman in a culture high on family. Since 2012, she has talked intimately about this topic with hundreds of women and advocated for better understanding of the childless/childfree demographic by speaking in classrooms, on panels, and before professional groups, among them the University of Dayton, AARP, and the Oregon Community Foundation. Kaufmann received her MFA in creative writing in 2016 from the Northwest Institute of Literary Arts and has a professional background in corporate staffing, training, and consulting. She lives in Portland, Oregon.